What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

When a dog smells another dog’s poo or wee, do they then remember that scent for when they smell it again, or even further know which dog they are smelling if they know the dog?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

Why was Super Buu so afraid of having Fat Buu torn out and becoming Kid Buu if he was going to destroy the Earth even before his transformation?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What advice would you give to a father of a teenage daughter on how to protect her from boys, dating, and social media? How should fathers discuss these topics with their daughters?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!